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Natasha Coulis
Ex-Mormon queer feminist trauma-informed writer. Embracing complexity, nuance, slow conflict, unknowing, non-judgment, love.
Apple bite and photography by E.H. Image by Natasha Coulis.

Trigger and content warning: This piece fleetingly mentions rape. It also discusses religious and community control behaviours.

Note: I use “wokeness,” “cancel culture,” and “The Church of Social Justice” interchangeably and as different from “social justice.” Keep reading for further explanation. Imagined audience are white social justice activists.

About eight…

Photo by Lerkrat Tangsri from Pexels

NOTE: Major content and trigger warning for child abuse and suicide attempts.

Things I never remember my mom saying to me, not even once:

“I adore you.”

“You are so special.”

“You are so lovable.”

“You will figure it out. You’ll be able to overcome this.”

“You can do anything…

Photo by Willian Justen de Vasconcellos on Unsplash

This is a follow-up to “I treasure my mother”, a piece I wrote about childhood abuse, its intergenerational impact, and forgiveness

I used to focus on all the good I could have done if I had not had such a traumatic childhood. I used to think about the superior choices…

Photo by Jeffrey Czum from Pexels

Trigger warning: This essay semi-graphically discusses childhood sexual assault, abuse, suicidal ideation, violence, cancel culture.

Ever since #metoo, media spread broad awareness about why we should “believe survivors” of abuse and support them. Famous men were cancelled for their abuse. They were de-platformed and excoriated in the press. I was…

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash, editing by Natasha Coulis

Note: My imagined audience here are social justice activists who regularly promote deplatforming straight cis white men indefinitely as a representation correction model

Sometimes when I am about to quote someone with a poetic, insightful, articulate, experienced thing to say, I ask myself if they are white and if they…

Original photography by Isabella Mendes, image editing by Natasha Coulis

Trigger warning: This piece of writing discusses sexual assault of children and adults, and describes an example of racist judgments towards Indigenous people.

There are unrepentant people who have done things so egregious that the harm is self-evident by naming their behaviour.

Jian Ghomeshi. Donald Trump. Brock Turner. Harvey Weinstein.

Photo by David Todd McCarty on Unsplash

Reading notes: My intended audience is primarily straight, white, cis women but it may also apply to queer women. I’m speaking here of power dynamics and don’t believe it’s my place to speak to anyone but my peers.

Do we have the same beliefs? Let’s check:

I believe that demanding…

@sunnysmng on Unsplash

The pandemic hit my awareness shortly after my personal life blew apart by an effective divorce. We married ourselves via my children we co-parented for seven years and counting; joint finances; businesses we launched and shared; and mostly through the formal intention to marry each other as the loves of…

Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

It is 4:30 am and I can’t sleep. I opened up Facebook to bore myself back to sleep but instead got riled up reading comments from people judging other people about Doing Coronavirus Wrong. …

Photo by Chi Pham on Unsplash. (Everyone would be happier if there were 12 more daffodils here. Call the bi-law officer.)

There are generally two kinds of adults in the world: those with super dogmatic morals and ethics and those who graduated from their dogmatism with the ability to think for themselves and quickly pivot their position depending on the specifics of the scenario. James Fowler has a theory of faith

Natasha Coulis

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