Natasha Coulis

Coronavirus: Tricking people into thinking it’s moral to be judgmental

Your pastime of socially shaming people is dangerous

It is 4:30 am and I can’t sleep. I opened up Facebook to bore myself back to sleep but instead got riled up reading comments from people judging other people about Doing Coronavirus Wrong. I’m so tired of reading and hearing people judge and shame each other for how they cope in a pandemic, competing in an imaginary competition for Best, Smartest, Goodest, Most Socially Acceptable Person.

An epidemiologist agrees with me

I just found this excellent Atlantic article, written by an epidemiologist and professor at Harvard Medical School comparing this pandemic to the AIDS crisis. Broad shaming and an all-or-nothing approach simply drove more gay sex underground and increased transmission rates in the 1980s.

  • It incites people who are naturally rebellious and people prone to rebellion when control factors trigger childhood trauma, PTSD or complex PTSD.
  • It creates a cycle of increasingly amplifying hostilities. (We don’t have that enough with political disputes online and marginalization? Now we have to fight about how to pandemic right?)
  • It causes people who are already vulnerable to low self-esteem to feel unworthy of love, forgiveness, communion, and compassion.

You cannot judge and love people at the same time

I am at a saturation point in my life of being able to handle listening to people judge others. It bores me at best. It hurts my heart and depresses me at worst. I don’t want to do it myself and I don’t want to listen to other people doing it.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Ex-Mormon queer feminist trauma-informed writer. Embracing complexity, nuance, slow conflict, unknowing, non-judgment, love.