My understanding of narcissistic personality disorder is that narcissists are quite good at reading people and don’t desire to save the world out of any empathy for the human condition, only for glory. Your self-described obsessive need for validation could also be, I’m sorry to say, plain old boring average anxiety. My child who is autistic had a lot of need for validation as a child—not as much as you’re describing—and it came from their intense anxiety. Combine that anxiety with a strong intellect that allows a person to see themselves from the outside looking in, and that allows lets them understand cognitive biases, a person would feel like they never know for sure which way is up or down, left or right. They would doubt themselves, then doubt their doubts, then doubt the doubting of their doubts, etc. The anxiety comes from wanting to be liked, sure, because we all need that to retain social belonging, which we need for survival, but it also comes from wanting to be “good.” I understand that narcissists care less about goodness. Whereas you seem to. Then there’s the sensory processing disorder and stimming. And stimming shows up in multiple ways, including listening to the same song on repeat or playing with your hair or chewing the inside of your cheek. If you have sensory processing problems where sounds, smells, textures, tastes, or lights are often too much, then you’re simply autistic. Not cPTSD + sensory processing disorder + narcissism + etc. Occam’s Razor. I also have/have had cPTSD but it takes time to develop in children because they’re so resilient. Autistic behaviours will predate the accumulation of cPTSD.

If people think you’re autistic, especially in an age when people reflexively diagnose everyone NPD for the smallest things, my instinct is to lean into that with more curiosity. Especially since, if you do, and if you are autistic, you could start to answer some questions and problems you’ve identified. The RAADS-R test online is very helpful.