Steve, you asked me, in a manner that sounded snotty to me, why you would be engaging if not to understand. As though no humans ever engage online for any reason other than to understand each other! I offered hypothetical reasons with question marks and then I gave you the reason I thought you were here: to argue. Yet, you've just said, "How you manage to decide that I'm trying to 'divest negative emotions'...". If you can't even tell what is a hypothetical possibility offered to you to validate or not and what is the point of view I actually hold that I'm putting forward (that you want to argue), it's no wonder you can't follow along with more complicated thoughts!
The question you are asking me is an argumentative question. Questions for understanding are very different. They sound like this:
"Am I understanding correctly that you're saying....?" "What part am I missing here?"
"Is there another way you can explain that because I'm not following?"
That's what a humble person seeking understanding would have done rather than say, "You're not good at explaining things and before reading what you had to say made me want to die, I thought you were saying X and in case that's right (I'm not going to wait to verify because understanding is not my motivation here), here are all the reasons why you're wrong."
If you remember, the context of me saying that you're not asking questions was not a general statement meant for our entire conversation. It was brought up in reference to you SAYING you didn't understand. SO ASK A QUESTION. Instead of making an incorrect assumption and then arguing with your incorrect assumption.
Moreover, if I was expecting you to "obediently nod and agree," why would I say you should be asking questions? Yes, if you ask someone a question about how they believe something, and say you don't understand how they arrived at their answer, they're going to EDUCATE YOU ON THAT. I can't simultaneously answer your question, "What is a woman?" and not educate you about what many people believe and why. Make up your mind about what you want. You're just throwing criticisms around like it's spaghetti on the wall and hoping something will stick.
I didn't dodge your question. I explained my answer and you didn't understand, but you argued anyway with things I didn't say because you didn't understand what I was saying. You literally don't understand what I am explaining about words, how their meaning gets created and evolves, what that means, and what trans people are thereby asking for. It is impossible for me to talk with you about this if you don't understand what I'm saying. It's not for lack of desire on my part. You have to understand the things I'm saying the way I understand them in order for you to rebut them. And, Steve, you DO NOT. It's like trying to talk about calculus to someone who doesn't know algebra. Or so I imagine. I never studied calculus. I'm not dodging anything but a waste of time! We're literally using and understanding words and concepts differently and you have hostility towards trying to understand how people over on my side are understanding them. You don't have to agree! I'd be fascinated to get to the point of having an actual debate with someone able to be on my level. But it hasn't happened yet! If you can't understand my arguments by understanding the concepts I'm talking about and the words I'm using, you have zero way of logically arguing with me about anything. If I wanted to argue with someone saying what I am saying now, I would know how to do so. I can come up with a rebuttal that you haven't come up with. Problem is, I have a rebuttal to THAT rebuttal that holds water. So, I am left with my point of view.
If you want to argue with "gender ideologues" you have to understand what they're saying as well as they understand it. Truly, if you did, I would have said, "Yes! You finally are understnading what I believe." I'm not pretending there's a disconnect so as to run away from an argument. I took the LSAT intendeding to go to law school. I crushed Reading Comprehension and Logical Reasoning. I won an award for the highest mark in all the first year philosophy classes. I studied formal elementary logic. I'm NOT AFRAID OF ARGUING WITH YOU. The first thing anyone who knows me would say about me is that I'm not afraid to debate with anyone. I don't get my feelings hurt. I don't get over emotional. I get exasperated when men are condescending because they're convinced they're smarter than me and I can plainly tell they aren't—that's my only Achilles heel. It's usually men.
And, Steve, I used to be MORMON. Changing my mind about my values and my moral and political positions cost me my entire life as I knew it. I lost A LOT in order to admit that I was wrong. I have also written long pieces all about social justice activism and how the Church of Social Justice is another cult. I have always been a happy loner, an only child, someone who walked away from the group of "cool girls" in high school because I just wasn't cliquey or like them and I remained merely friendly with everyone in high school. I do not give one tiny fuck what the majority say, the minority, or any group of people around me. I am one of the last people on the planet who is too afraid to be wrong or who won't change their mind or who cares what her friends say is right. Lumping me in with any ideologues is laziness and wishful thinking on your part.
I've also spent hours answering this question to TERFs on Twitter who are very terrible at critical thinking but, of course, think they are geniuses who see that the emporor is wearing no clothes. I also have half of a Medium post explaining this very thing but I have work I have to do and I haven't got around to finishing it. Since what you're so genuinely after is understanding, and arguing is definitely NOT your interest at all, you can help yourself to my Twitter replies and see what I've written there, or subscribe and eventually something I've spent more time on with more word space to do so will appear in your inbox.
